As a Google news source, we at thefootballexpert.com strive to bring the best news possible, but at the same time strive to bring the most traffic possible.  And sadly to say, placing Paris Hilton in the title helps generate traffic.  But I do have reasoning for placing Ms. Hilton in this article with a relationship to football.

Both Paris and Tank Johnson were recently released:  Paris from prison, and Tank from the Bears.  That is not the only thing they have in common:  both have seen Brian Urlacher naked.  Tank of course in the locker room (not by choice), Paris of course was “romantically” linked. 

The sad thing is, the Bears’ Urlacher probably needed more protection when he was with Paris in the sack than he did when he played football with Tank.  Maybe Paris should have dated Tank rather than Urlacher and the two could have made a sex video with so many great names.  Think:  Johnson, Tank, Paris, Hilton- there are so many great titles that could be created with those words, and now that Tank is unemployed, I hear he has already been contacted by Rick Solomon for One Night in Paris part two.

- Evan Almighty was released this past weekend, and not to my surprise it failed to reach expectations.  Despite being the number one movie at the box office, it only pulled in $31.2 million.  The movie has been estimated to cost over $175 million, which would make it the most expensive comedy ever.  I was one of many who expected great things from Bruce Almighty.  For those unfamiliar to movies rated below R, it is about a guy who gets the opportunity to play God, because God wants to take a vacation.  With that, there were infinite possibilities, but the movie ended up becoming a disaster.  Its success at the box office was due to Jim Carrey.  Us, the movie goers, were not going to be fooled again. There are plenty of great trilogies out there that have maintained its lead actors to see instead at the movies.   I decided to watch Ocean’s Thirteen, and was not disappointed.   I was a little disappointed with Ocean’s Twelve, but Thirteen made up for it.  Just an interesting note for all you movie buffs:  The big nose Damon’s character wears is called “The Brody” in reference to Adrien Brody’s big nose.  

- I still have yet to see the third installment of that Pirates movie, but will be one of the first to see the Bourne Ultimatum.  The Bourne movies are awesome guy movies; feel free to email me your favorite guy movies. 

- My sister in law will probably hate me for doing this, but I am happy to announce that I will be an uncle and for good sake I already have reserved the URL names:  TheFootballExpertNephew.com and TheFootballExpertNeice.com.   Knowing our family genetics, the kid will make for one awesome tennis/golf/baseball player, but to my dismay not football player.  One stupid fact:  combined, the Abromowitz family has dressed for one high school varsity football game.  Younger brother Scott has that distinction- he had the whole Rudy moment except for the part about getting on the field.   Ironically, Scott's one game was against the Sidney Yellow Jackets, while Rudy's was against the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets.  Rudy has gone on to use his story to teach millions the idea of never giving up; and if you fail work harder.  Scott has used his story to teach children the importance of quitting hopeless dreams.

- Sony pictures should be hearing from my lawyers soon because in its movie Surf’s Up, which was recently released, a major character in the movie is named Mikey Abromowitz, and coincidentally is a surfing talent scout.  Surfing scout has a lot of parallelism to draft expert/scout/analysis, and Mikey only happens to be the nickname I had in grade school.  Now, I am honored for Sony Pictures to name a character after me, but if they are going to do that, I at least deserve some royalties.  And couldn’t they have chosen someone better than Mario Cantone (dude from Sex and the City) to be the voice of Mikey Abromowitz, like the great Joel Grothe?  Joel is a great friend of mine who is a professional actor, and a one time columnist at this very site.  Hey- I’m trying to help out a friend.

- One last thing before I get ready to memorize all those foreign names in the upcoming NBA draft.  For music lovers, who have a good sense of humor- watch Say Anything’s “Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too.”   The song is probably not suitable for children, but if you are a “Happy Days” fan you are going to love the Henry Winkler cameo. 

- Just to prove that I have a life outside of the football realm, here is what I am currently listening to on my iTunes (my iPod is broken).

1.  Thnks Fr Th Memrs- Fall Out Boy
2.  We’ve Got a Big Mess on Our Hands- The Academy Is
3.  Hey There Delilah- Plain White T’s
4.  Wait for You- Elliott Yamin
5.  Makes Me Wonder- Maroon 5